One of the most valuable lessons I’ve been learning—through conversations with my counselor, English coach, who is like a sister to me, and supervisor, who is also like a sister to me—is that healing doesn’t happen on demand. There’s an expectation from ourselves or others that we should always reflect, unpack, and connect to our inner selves. But what if I’m not there yet? What if I’m not ready to dive deep into everything inside me?
I used to think that not being ready meant I was avoiding growth or resisting healing. But my counselor gently reminded me:
“Readiness is not something you force. It’s something that comes in its own time. We go at our own pace.”
My supervisor-sister echoed this wisdom:
“You are allowed to take your time. God is not rushing you.”
And that truth settled deep within me.
Then, in another conversation, my coach-sister shared the Serenity Prayer with me:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
She reminded me that peace doesn’t come from having everything figured out—it comes from surrender. And maybe, right now, the best thing I can do is accept that I’m not ready yet, and that’s okay.
Healing Is Not a Race
I’m learning that healing doesn’t work on a schedule. There is no deadline for when I should be fully connected to my emotions, my past, or my pain. Healing is a process; sometimes, I am not ready to unpack everything.
And that’s okay.
God never forces us to process what we’re not ready to face. He meets us where we are, offering grace and patience, allowing us to move at our own pace.
As my counselor said, “You don’t have to open every door in your heart at once. One step at a time is enough.”
And my supervisor-sister reminded me, “God is working even when you’re standing still.”
That was freeing for me to hear.
And then I read this verse:
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NIV)
Avoidance Does Not Mean Failure
Sometimes, I felt like I was failing simply because I wasn’t ready to fully engage with my emotions. But my counselor helped me reframe that:
“Not being ready is not the same as avoiding. Sometimes, you need more time.”
I sat with that for a moment. I let it sink in.
I am not failing because I’m still processing. I am not broken because I don’t have all the answers yet. Some parts of my heart need more time, and that’s not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign that I am human.
I was reminded of Isaiah 40:31 (NIV):
“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”
Waiting, healing, and growing at my own pace does not mean I am weak. It means I trust in God’s timing and believe that God will renew my strength when the time is right.
God Moves
I’ve been repeatedly reminded that God does not wait for me to be perfectly self-aware before God works in my life. In the hesitation, uncertainty, and not-yet-ready, God is with me right now.
My supervisor-sister said something that has stayed with me: “You don’t have to force your healing. When the time comes, it will happen naturally.”
My coach-sister’s words about the Serenity Prayer reminded me that part of this journey is accepting where I am today—not where I think I should be.
There will be a day when I feel ready to connect deeply with myself, embrace my whole story, and process everything fully. But that day doesn’t have to be today. And I don’t have to force it.
So, for now, I am choosing grace. I trust that God is working even when I don’t see it, and I hold onto the truth that it is okay wherever I am in this process.
